One out of every 139 births is stillborn, and I have experienced this difficult loss. 

My healthy baby girl named Lyndzey Brooke passed away the night before she was actually born. 

Her perfect nursery was set up. The most beautiful, newborn clothing was bought for her by loving family and friends. The pinkest and laciest dresses, socks, and blankets were washed to perfection then folded and packed into the cutest diaper bag. 

Yet, her new and empty carseat, her neatly arranged diaper bags, and the arms of her parents went home without her. 

Before we left the hospital, her funeral plans were made. We watched as her small casket was lowered into a grave. Understandably, experiencing that will leave you changed forever, and honestly, there are few places that you can turn to during a time like that for help.

Years later, after having two beautiful- and oh my were they bouncing around- baby boys, I was again getting an ultrasound for a third pregnancy. By then it was routine, and I was by myself, so I prepared to hear a quick heartbeat and made myself ready to feel the excitement of another child coming into our world. 

But silence was the only thing that I heard. The doctor began explaining that he could not find a heartbeat, and not only that… but I had just recently been pregnant with twins. One of them was already absorbed by my body, and the other had just passed within the days before.  

I walked out of the office alone, grieving again, and plunged back into a darkness that only those who have lost a child can understand….. Read More…