I know everyone has been on edge, wondering: Did she do it?? Did she pet the tiger?? Did she smuggle it out??

If you read my last book, you are aware that my husband (reluctantly) took me to the zoo for my birthday. Below is the after-visit summary. 

10:15 a.m. Friday, April 17. Location: bus stop in Columbus, Ohio.

*Waiting for 10:31a.m. Zoo Bus arrival*

*10:45 a.m.: Looks at map, realizes bus will not arrive until 10 a.m. May 25*

*points out mistake to spouse, gets “the look”*

*1 half hour and $70 more than budgeted, walks through zoo entrance*

There were five things on my list for the visit.

The day was beautiful. The animals must have known it was my birthday. They were all very active and showing off. Polar bears were first. Two facts: something actually has bigger feet than mine and females can’t have babies until they are 800 pounds. (“You can’t have a child until you weigh at least 800 pounds. Said no human doctor, ever). Brown bears are HUGE, the head alone being the size of a toddler. What the fairytale DID NOT tell you is that Goldilocks actually p**ped the bed before running away upon seeing the bears.

There were baby monkeys wrestling, ones whose fur on their head looked like they were wearing a papakha, a cheetah svelte enough to make Venus envious, a mama elephant nursing her baby and a male elephant, weighing 10,200 pounds, getting a foot scrub. I took a great view of his behind (photography is not my forte).  And, elephants do NOT like peanuts. I hope whoever started that rumor can outrun 5.1 tons of pachyderm.

I also fed Logan the giraffe. You haven’t lived until you’ve been licked by a giraffe (just my hand, luckily not my ear). Their tongue kind of feels like a slug. We were so close we could have kissed. It was so much fun!

In other animal news today at the Logan County Chronicle, Nikki Burkhamer shares about K9 Charlee’s specialty training and the kit she received that will keep the police dog safe while on duty, while protecting the halls of Bellefontaine High School and other nearby locales.

You also won’t want to miss the Logan County History Center’s spring open house coming up on April 26, which features lots of Americana and noteworthy history makers in Logan County!

And finally, are you ready? Drumroll, please!

I did (not) get to pet a tiger. If security hadn’t caught me halfway over the wall, I could have fulfilled my dream. Obviously, this means I wasn’t able to smuggle one either.
BUT: I walked up to the glass. The tiger walked over RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME. He paraded to one end of the glass and back up the other like a runway model, then back into his den. Just like that.  I was in such awe I nearly peed my pants and almost didn’t get a photo. MY HEART STOPPED. I felt like a teenage girl seeing Elvis in concert for the first time.

After having that mind-blowing experience, I took a spin on the merry-go-round. I was the only one riding. Next time will probably have to be side-saddle or bench. It’s getting a little harder to swing that leg over.

Afterwards, I had a heaping plate of carbohydrates for dinner at The Der Dutchman. We got a HoHo cake to go. Got home, had cake, slipped into a coma at 10 p.m., and slept like an old, worn-out LIV- year old kid.  : )

Till the fat lady sings,

April Redmond

Logan County Chronicle office administrator